Why Is My Child a Picky Eater? Common Reasons for Selective Eating

Coach Patty, HealthSmart! Kids
Jul 29, 2024
3 min read

A boy with an angry face and crossed arms staring at a plate of broccoli and rice

A question many parents ask is, 'Why is my child so picky when it comes to food?' The answer can be more complex than it seems. Picky eating typically involves certain behaviors, and understanding the reasons behind them can help make sense of your child’s eating habits.

If you’re raising a picky eater, chances are you’ve seen some common mealtime struggles—like sticking to a small group of favorite foods, refusing to try anything new, or even having meltdowns.

Understanding the reasons behind these behaviors can help explain why feeding picky eaters is rarely as simple as 'Just eat it!' Let’s take a look at some of the common factors at play.

Common Answers to "Why is My Child a Picky Eater?"

Temperament

Every child has their own unique personality, which plays a big role in how they approach food. Children with strong emotions—what I call “kids with BIG feelings”—often make their preferences clear, not just in everyday situations, but also when it comes to what’s on their plate.

Sensory Issues

Eating involves all of our senses, and some children find it overwhelming. They may struggle with the sight, smell, texture, temperature, or taste of food. It’s also common for kids to have sensory sensitivities to the environment itself—things like lighting, sounds, or even the seating arrangement can make mealtime harder for them.

A child sitting at the table with an angry face with food and drink in front of them

Fear or Anxiety

Some kids feel nervous or anxious about things outside of their usual routine, and food is no exception. I've heard from many parents whose children are afraid they might gag, choke, or even throw up when trying new foods. This fear often stems from a past experience where something uncomfortable happened, and now they’re trying to avoid it. This type of anxiety can be more intense for children who have sensory sensitivities around food.

Food Sensitivities or Allergies

Not all food issues show up on allergy tests. Certain foods can cause problems—whether they lead to physical discomfort, mood changes, or other reactions—even if they don’t trigger a clear allergic response. Children will often avoid foods they believe make them feel unwell, even if they can’t fully explain it. Interestingly, the reverse can also happen: children may crave or be drawn to foods that don’t sit well with them. For kids with known food allergies, mealtimes can already be challenging, and they tend to be even more cautious when it comes to trying unfamiliar foods.

A mother consoling her child at the table when he doesn't want to eat his food

Special Needs

For children with special needs, picky eating behaviors can be even more pronounced. Kids with autism, for example, often rely on rigid routines, so when we try to change something—especially their food—it can lead to a big reaction. Additionally, children with special needs may have difficulty expressing themselves due to speech or language challenges, which can lead to frustration and make them more resistant to changes in their feeding routines.

Understanding the Root Causes and Solutions for Picky Eating

Even if picky eating begins with factors like temperament or sensory sensitivities, it can eventually turn into a learned behavior. If you're wondering "Why is my child a picky eater?", it's important to remember that understanding the root causes can help you manage these behaviors effectively. To help your child become a better eater, focus on building a positive relationship with food.

While picky eating can be particularly challenging, it’s important to recognize that it’s often tied to underlying issues like anxiety, food sensitivities, or even special needs. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but seeking support can provide you with helpful strategies and reassurance, allowing you to better understand your child's needs and create a more enjoyable mealtime experience for your family.