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Mealtime can be a real challenge for many parents, especially when dealing with picky eating or resistance to trying new foods. It’s completely normal to feel exhausted and frustrated by these daily struggles. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle of frustration. There are ways to make mealtime easier and more enjoyable for both you and your child!
Here are some of my top behavioral feeding tips to help you get through this trying time without losing your cool.
1. Plan ahead
As parents we often find ourselves in the middle of a mealtime fiasco feeling unprepared to deal with it. If we do a bit of planning and preparation, making sure to structure mealtime settings for success, we can better avoid power struggles with our picky eater and minimize the food time fallout.
To help your kids come to the table ready to eat, try to keep regular mealtimes and snacks. Watch out for them filling up on drinks too close to mealtimes, as this can make them less hungry and less willing to try new foods.
It's really helpful to develop a mindset to manage eating as a behavior, having a plan ahead of time to deal with refusal and meltdowns, while avoiding power struggles with your picky eater.
We also want to be careful not to force kids when it comes to eating and trying new foods because this only increases their resistance and promotes a negative relationship with mealtime and food in general.
2. Start Where You Are (And Where Your Child Is)
Give your picky eater only a very small portion of a new food to start, serving at least one of the same foods that the rest of the family is having.
Let your child know that they can try the new food if they want to, but at this point, the only expectation is to leave the new food on their plate or in their space.
This plan reduces anxiety and tantrums, and allows kids to get used to the new feeding changes. You can increase the expectations for tasting new foods (and eating amounts) after your picky eater has gotten comfortable with this step.
3. Don’t take it personally when kids have fussy mealtime behavior
Kids don't usually become picky eaters overnight, and there are a number of reasons why they can be so selective with food. Remember, there are two things for sure that kids can and do attempt to control and those are toileting and eating!
No matter how big their reactions, it's not about us as parents. You, as the parent, are in charge of what you're serving, and your picky eater is in charge of what they choose to eat from their plate...IF they choose, I may add.
It takes at least 21 days to form a habit. That's three weeks of doing the same thing the same way. To tackle fussy mealtime behavior, stay the course with the feeding changes you are making for your family, while keeping your eye on the prize.
4. Establish the habit of eating together as a family
Even though you can’t force your child to eat, you can establish the habit of eating together as a family.
Research shows that kids who eat meals with their parents and other family members are more likely to try new foods, and they tend to have a more positive relationship with food overall.
Eating together can also help you to better understand your child’s eating habits and eating pace.
We can set a good example by allowing our kids to see us enjoying a variety of healthy foods at mealtime. So try to eat meals together whenever you can, even if your child isn’t eating well, and strive to keep mealtime calm and pleasant while navigating picky eating.
5. Use an incentive program
If your child is fussy at mealtime and just isn’t interested in eating, consider an incentive program. A reward system, like one you might have used when potty training, can work wonders when it comes to encouraging kids to try new foods.
Using a sticker chart like this one can be really helpful for getting kids to try new foods.
For older kids, calling it a 'tasting tracker' is the way to go. You can get this free chart today!
Using some fruit and veggie stickers like these to support your child in healthy eating and learning about new foods is a win-win!
Remember to start where your child is. This means that if sitting at the table is a problem, you start there and reward him for good sitting, even if for only a short time. When that is no longer an issue, you can give a sticker for 'brave tasting' each new food.
Depending upon your child's age and level of understanding, you can attach each sticker reward to a 'bigger' reward.
For example, for each sticker earned, your child might get an extra story at bedtime or 10 more minutes on the iPad. To keep the momentum going, you can then go for a few days or a week of getting a sticker to then translate into a bigger prize like watching a special movie, choosing from the dollar store prize box, or whatever reasonable reward appeals to your child.
6. Keep Trying
I can't stress this one enough! Dealing with mealtime behavior from our kids can be really frustrating, and there are times when we parents want to give in and give up. These tips can help you gain perspective and make some modifications to get through this trying time without losing your cool.
Managing eating as a behavior in a loving yet matter-of-fact way, while maintaining patience, structure, and consistency, can go a long way to help your child develop a healthy relationship with food that lasts a lifetime.
You may also like these other posts:
Want more feeding coach tips to help your picky eater? Get the Build a Better Eater short eBook or paperback now on Amazon.
All blog content shared through HealthSmart! Kids is for informational purposes only and not to be construed as medical advice. Always talk with your qualified health care provider for managing your health care needs.
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